Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
