My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Still dying that you shit outside
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
