Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
