Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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