She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.