If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP