I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
