I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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