Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.