just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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