It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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