and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
