He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Randomize
