i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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