I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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