I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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