I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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