Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
