either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
