Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
