but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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