She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
