dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
