no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My dick has a subreddit
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
