He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
