i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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