just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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