I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize