I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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