i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
