would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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