Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
