I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Actions speak louder than pants.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
