I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
only you would photoshop your dick
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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