I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
