just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
