Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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