We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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