I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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