Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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