He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
