I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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