i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
