it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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