How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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