Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
