why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize