Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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