i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I have post one night stand depression
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