There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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