living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
