Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
my being single is dangerous.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
