the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
