I want to stick my p in your. b.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
