Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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