That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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