Are we in a gay sports bar?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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