Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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