If i come over, it means nothing
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
