as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
