I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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