We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
