Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
