where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
he was CRYING into my vagina
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
