Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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