I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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