In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He kissed a someone with a penis
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
