I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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