So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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