Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
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I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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