Pappa wants mamma naked
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
