All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
