and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
