Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
