We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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