can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
