I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
